Fall From Grace

A poem by Sydney October Ashcroft

Photograph by С Бу on Pexels

Fall From Grace

You treated me like a monster
Like a feral beast that can't be trusted not to harm
How can you act as if I'm dangerous
And then turn around and say I'm one of you?

How can you make me an outsider
And then pretend I'm welcome among you?
How can they turn a blind eye
And expect me to do the same?

You cast me out
Not wanting my filth to corrupt your purity
You tossed me out of your perfect humanity
To live among the beasts which you deemed lesser
And I realized
I like it better down here

Where there is no pretense
No expectations
No shame
All the animals who were shunned by your highness
Do not cast judgement upon their own kind
Unlike you

And now you have realized your mistake
You see how happy I am
Among the rubble and the filth and the outcasts
You see how happy I am with the freedom to be unclean
With the freedom to be me

And now you want me back
You became jealous of my freedom
And tried to force me to return
You tried, after all this time of shunning me,
To claim me as one of your own
You insist I'm one of you

You insist I'm just like you
You insist I'm not like them
You insist I'm disparaging myself

But the truth is
I know your acceptance is false
I know you would never welcome me
Unless I were to forsake my spirit
And remake myself in your image
To insist that you and I are the same
Is not a compliment, but an insult

And the truth is
That you are far too late
And I am too far gone
I'd rather live among the beasts
Than among those who fancy themselves little gods

I am a monster of your own creation
I have made my place here, and I have made myself comfortable
You will never get me back
And it's your fault, not mine
That I realized I am happier this way
And that the unclean are ever more free and true
Than the pure and holy

So congratulate yourself
Because by shunning me
You have freed me

I know you will always resent me for it
Though that is none of my business
As I am far away from you now
And I will never look back.

About the author:

Sydney October Ashcroft is an enigmatic feline (among other things) creature with a love for art and writing. They have been an active member of the alterhuman community for over five years, and have known about their nonhumanity for much longer. They enjoy creating works that express their nonhumanity, plurality, neurodivergence, and how it affects their life and how they are perceived and treated by others. They are the host of a mixed-origin plural system. Sydney can be found on Tumblr, Youtube, Toyhouse, and Artfight @RavenTheWolf9.

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